The Calling To Mother

The sun came out, the weather is beautiful, the earth is green, and the most amazing transformation in all of this is my offspring… THEY’RE POSSESSED!!!
My girlfriends were talking about this today – children and our roles as mothers. Just when our kids seem perfect they up and paint the cat purple or cut their sisters bangs down to nubbins. Whether they are a reflection of us or not, there is no excuse great enough to save the little mini-me when red Sharpie has been colored all over your white car.
How can I raise them to be good? Am I doing something wrong? Why can’t they be the perfect children I see walking quietly beside the grocery cart with their mom? How can I know that God will be the ONE THING they cling to in life?
The Holy Spirit wouldn’t let me rest today until I had read something so I picked up a book I hadn’t touched in a while. Stasi Eldredge, the author of Captivating, wrote these words and I wanted to share them with you. They caught me off guard but showed me a new perspective that I needed to see.

“As large as the role is that our mothers play, the word mother is more powerful when used as a verb than as a noun. All women are not mothers, but all women are called to mother. To mother is to nurture, to train, to educated, to rear. As daughters of Eve, all women are uniquely gifted to help others in their lives become more of who they truly are – to encourage, nurture, and mother them toward their true selves. In doing this, women partner with Christ in the vital mission of bringing forth life.
‘Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it’ (Proverbs 22:6 NKJV). This verse is not a promise about faith. It is not speaking of training a child to follow Christ or promising that if you do, the grown child will continue to follow him. Sorry. The proverb is about raising a child to know who he is and to guide him in becoming ever more himself. In the way he should go. Not in the way you would like him to go in order to validate you as a mother and a woman. It speaks of teaching a child to live from his heart, attuned to it, awake to it, aware of it, and when that child is grown he will continue to live a life from the heart. It is about seeing who a person really is and calling him out to be that person.
The impact on a life that has been seen and called out is dramatic and eternal. The nurturing of life is a high and holy calling. And as a woman, it is yours. Yes, it takes many shapes and has a myriad of faces. Yes, men are called to this as well. But uniquely and deeply, this calling makes up part of the very fiber of a woman’s soul - the calling to mother.”

At first I thought, “WHAT!? Of course it’s a promise of faith!” That’s what I’d assumed my entire life, I guess. But then the words of one of my old professors returned to me – “A good book is not one that you totally agree with but one that challenges you to figure out what you believe.” Many times it is in disagreement that we discover where we stand. I realized that Stasi had an amazing view of motherhood that I had never quite pinned down.
My job is not to pound Jesus into my kids’ hearts. It’s not even to make sure they eat all their vegetables. It is to see them as they are and love them. It is to direct their decision making and help them learn from mistakes. It is to spend the time to get to know them even when the last thing I want to do is listen to the stories of an extremely animated 4 year old. It is to help them discover who God made them to be! Only He can bring that “true self” to light and best use.
I watch this lived out in my daughter as she explores all the different things she can do… ballet, piano, dance, sports. She wants to know what she’s good at and what she can do with it. I’m watching it in my husband, too. He discovers more about himself each day and it has only been through his willingness to Christ’s moving in his life that he has come alive, discovering his purpose.
Mothering is one of my purposes and I believe it is best accomplished through example. If I am living the true life God wants me to live, he will shine so brightly that they can not help but see that God is what helps me be a good mom/wife/woman and that without his help, I can not be real, honest, or truly great at anything. Children are experts in seeing through masks, better than many adults. They love others just as they are, not for their potential and in spite of any flaws. They see the true self God created in me as I should see it in them. I am merely a set of hands God might use once in a while to help mold my child into something God can pour himself into and out of.
So my kids aren't perfect. They throw a tantrum now and then, throw a baseball in the house, throw the f-bomb around (okay... maybe not that one). God placed me in their lives to help them make good decisions, discover who they are, and see that God loves them just as they are.