A Writers Block

This really lifted my heart. I hope it does yours too. (Thanks, Michelle!) MercyMe - Beautiful on YouTube The days will come when you don't have the strength When all you hear is you're not worth anything Wondering if you ever could be loved And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much You're beautiful You're beautiful You are made so much more than all of this You're beautiful You're beautiful You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His You're beautiful And praying that you have the heart to find Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight For all the lies you've held inside so long And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross You're beautiful You're beautiful You are made so much more than all of this You're beautiful You're beautiful You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His You're beautiful Before you ever took a breath Long before the world began Of all the wonders H...

So I wonder... do I really need to take life so seriously? I mean, each day comes and goes, being a new and beautiful miracle each time but somehow I seem to miss that part of it. Today I woke up early after hardly being able to fall asleep and looked out my window. I just had to smile. The sun had just hit the tops of our trees and the first couple birds just started singing. It was such a beautiful thing. I have forgotten how much I LOVE the early mornings... more than the late nights. The quiet is different and it's not all messed up with the chaos of the day yet. God knew I needed to be romanced today and he did it in a big way. He touched my heart and reminded me that, even in the mess of all my life, I am still loved by him. Thanks, God, for taking me to see the sunrise. You're pretty cool. 

Eww.... what's with all the big words?? This is one I have struggled to pin down for a long time. I read this tonight and it seemed to make sense in a new way. Maybe because I'm a hopeless romantic. Maybe it's because I want to feel lovely and loved, or maybe it's just because God is the Lover of my soul and He took the time to tell me He loves me tonight. "In 'Beauty and the Beast,' it is only when the Beast discovers that Beauty loves him in all his ugliness that he himself becomes beautiful. In the experience of St. Paul, it is only when a person discovers that God really loves him in all his unloveliness that he himself starts to become godlike. Paul's word for this gradual transformation of a sow's ear into a silk purse is sanctification...." I pray that in this process I will become less and less a Beast who can only see ugliness and more and more the Beauty who sees the loveliness in others.

Okay... now that you've choked over the title and had to make yourself start reading, just let your mind wander around in this mush of thoughts. I've been reading in James again. Funny how God just dropped it in my head again. Not that it's a hilarious read... on the contrary, I find it incredibly difficult and convicting. But I've also had some light shed on things I haven't really seen before... like what God really desires and what we've been sidetracked by. First, the icky part... 'what is religion'. I really don't like that word but it's not because of it's true definition but more because of what human nature has done to it. "The term "religion" refers both to the personal practices related to communal faith and to group rituals and communication stemming from shared conviction. [It] is commonly identified by the practitioner's prayer, ritual, meditation, music, and art, among other things." - that's just one...

This is some of what I said at church the other Sunday... “Inspection stickers used to have printed on the back “Drive carefully – the life you save may be your own.” That is the wisdom of men in a nutshell. What God says, on the other hand, is “The life you save is the life you lose.” In other words, the life you clutch, hoard, guard, and play safe with is in the end a life worth little to anybody, including yourself, and only a life given away for love’s sake is a life worth living. To bring his point home, God shows us a man who gave his life away to the extent of dying a national disgrace without a penny in the bank or a friend to his name.” Frederich Buechner I don’t think I truly knew what that meant until Sierra came along. She’s my extra blessing. Scott and my oldest daughter, Kayla, had made a deal with God that they forgot to let me in on! I was ready to go back to work – climb the ladder, ready to speak like an adult again, ready to have my life back. All of a sudden ...

John 18:9 "I have not lost one of those you gave me." Jesus was speaking of the disciples he had been given by God to train and go on to spread his word. They were regular men just like you and me, and actually the flunkies of seminary school, if you will. Jesus took them, taught them, challenged them, scolded them, and laughed with them. They grew to be hated, hunted, and generally disliked by all important society of the time. They encountered many trials and hardships because of Who they tried to bring glory to. But Jesus never allowed them to be lost. He covered them, counseled and protected them. He didn't keep them from the trials but their actions were testaments to God's glory. Even their deaths brought glory to God. Think about it... we may go through great trials but, if God wants us alive for his purpose, nothing will conquer us. Regardless of what I may face in speaking or acting upon God's truth, my life or death is in His hands and EITHER can be used...