Gimme Grace
I'll let you in on a little something about me: I need a lot of grace. Grace from you, grace from God, lots of grace... gimme all the grace you can muster. Getting older has forcibly taught me this fact. I have been dragged into the realization kicking and screaming.
When I was in High School, I remember struggling with something that made me feel so much less valued than everyone else. I felt like I had a huge blot on me, a scarlet letter that told everyone I was flawed. One of my youth leaders wrote back to me the verse in 2 Cor. 12:10 - "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." It has remained my steady friend all these years. It is the verse I run to. It is the insight I love most from Paul, a person I often perceive as overbearing and above everyone else. He shares of his weakness and how God answers his request for healing and relief. God said, "No."
Not that any of us deserves a reason for what God does but in this case, He gives one to Paul (and to us). He wants to make a way to show Who He is and how He loves us. Without our need for Him, I'm sure God would have other ways to share His nature with the world but not in such a real and personal way.
We have each been given grace, apportioned by Christ, the One Who spent time as one of us and with us. Apportioned - assigned or allocated. So we each have the perfect amount that we need. It may not be the same except that it is sufficient to "pay our debt" and allow us into God's presence.
"My grace is sufficient for you." He knows us fully and uses our weaknesses to show His grace. Without weakness, what am I but a "clanging symbol"? Grace, and therefore love, are what God wishes to show and use to invite others to come to Him.
So when I fall on my face (literally! and figuratively) I am showing that I need help, that I may not be strong enough. In acknowledging that fact and going to God, I am showing His love for me, even though I don't feel like enough. God makes up the gap with His grace. I may think I need way more grace than others to cover my debts, my weaknesses, but by inviting God to use what I may struggle to share He can show someone else what my youth leader showed me: my weaknesses are what make me beautiful to God.
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