A Writers Block

     As is usually the case with my quiet times, there are often words that jump out at me from the verses I read. Today it was ‘prove.’       “Then the Jews demanded of him, ‘What miraculous sign can you show us to prove your authority to do all this?’” John 2:18      Jesus had just finished whipping the tar out of the merchants for selling animals for sacrifice within His Father’s Temple. There is a lot more behind all of that - the area they were set up in was where the gentiles’ were allowed to pray so to the Jews it was not really important, it wasn’t in the temple building… just within the outer walls, and it was necessary for them to provide a way for sojourners to purchase their sacrifices - but the authority of Jesus was being questioned instead of the Jewish misuse of His temple.      Why do humans always need proof?      My first thought is so that our pride is not pummeled by our mistaken belief...

  Most of us cringe at the thought of the word judgement. It is a word that has taken on a harsh meaning that maybe shouldn't have. Here's what I mean: To judge is to determine... not to condemn or justify. It is the simple process of defining the action taken. I think the encompassing of condemnation into this word is partly because we already know we are imperfect therefore punishment if deserved and the only possible outcome from judgement.  God, however, turns this idea on its head, as He usually does. He asked His Son to take that deserved consequence on Himself. Jesus, who would have been judged blameless and awarded all the prizes for his works of good, volunteered to take the punishments that we would most definitely receive upon judgement of our actions. He endured for us what we so justly deserved. Why? So that when we stand before God to be judged, the actions have either been wiped away leaving nothing to judge negatively or they are there but the punishment has al...

I went to a private Christian school for my elementary years and one of the requirements throughout the years was the memorization of scripture. It was something I actually liked doing, although I can't say I remember more than 4 or 5 long passages and a handful of verses, but one such passage that "stuck" was 1 Corinthians 13. I'm currently going through that chapter, taking it one verse at a time. I don't know if I have ever done it so slowly before. It affords an almost out of context focus on their meanings.  Today was verse three:  "If I give away all I possess to the poor, and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."  First, it seemed interesting that we could gain anything by surrendering. Why would that be a motivator? Sadly, I'm guessing that humans don't do much of anything without some promise of gain. Paul, the writer, knew that.  I tabled that thought and went on to the meaning of the word surrender. To su...

Some of my favorite places to walk are cathedrals or temples when they are not in use. There is a feeling I cannot find anywhere else but there and in nature. The space holds a stillness and quiet that’s unmatched. It can feel vast with its arches, windows, pillars, and light. It can fold me tightly in its comparable smallness to God. There are few man-made things that give me that feeling. One such church is the Chartres Cathedral in France. I was able to visit during Easter weekend one year and it really was spectacular. There were so many things that gave it a feeling of comfort for me. So many features that brought my attention back to my Creator and just set my heart at ease. I felt peace…. Just peace. Many of us have heard that our bodies are a temple. This scripture is often quoted, spoken on, and for me can be a constant reminder of how poorly I care for my physical and mental being, but it shouldn’t be. Or at least that’s what God wanted me to hear to day.  " Don’t you kn...

My daughter sounded concerned about a friend who was posting what seemed to her to be a bit weird. I told her to send me one of the posts and then we could talk about it. Great mom-move, right? I was expecting to read some super cult jargon and procedures for scary rituals. What I got, however, was a spiritual check. The post was simply "super churchy" as I described it. Her friend was sharing a unique way of believing in God and following His way. Even saying that (His "way") makes me cringe a bit because it sounds churchy. But why does that bother me? I grew up with the Psalms-like romantic view of God and His working in my life and I still feel that way now but I shut it down. I have always wanted my kids to know God in that deep, "God is everything to me" way but I worry that I have not done well. Hearing my daughter's take on this post felt like confirmation of my failure.  This interaction was still fresh in my mind when I started my quiet time t...

I read that quote the other day and it was hard to accept. Well, at least for me. I'm not inclined to being social. It's not that I don't want to show others that I value them and want to be with them. I LOVE people and I DO want to show them but it often takes a lot of work and effort for me to get started. It's one of those things I fight with myself over and have to push myself to exercise because I DO want to let others know that they are important to me and loved by me. A while ago, I made the decision to "schedule" quiet time for myself in the mornings. I had tried to do my bible study at given times throughout the day but it just got crammed or interrupted or completely missed in the hustle and bustle of the day. How was I going to find a quiet minute in a house full of kids and work and cleaning and..?!?! You get the picture. But I wanted to make time because I knew it would benefit me and I could get to know God better. So I MADE time. I decided that ...

Have you ever played Monopoly with your family? The object is to win by amassing so much wealth that you ruin the other players but a more subtle "win" is one of bringing the family together to build relationship and have fun together. It just depends on what you put value on.  "The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, and He adds no trouble to it." Prov. 10:22 First, let me talk about the twinge you most likely had while reading this verse. Wealth and religion have always been interesting mates and to be honest, I could care less because I'm not a "religion," I'm a christian. But the two are irrevocably tied together.  Religions (the organizations of like minded people) have done things like say, "if you are wealthy and blessed it is because you have followed all of God's rules and done nothing evil." Or even better, "if you are poor and suffering it is because you have been a bad person or done something wrong."  It's a...

 Today, I read Proverbs 6:20-21. My thoughts may not be in line with the context of the chapter but, then again, God rarely teaches me that way. He usually takes me to an idea that comes from the passage and then shows me another thought. That's what He did today so I thought I'd share my tangent. "My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck." Sheesh!! No pressure! That's how my mind first experiences these words. Moms and dads are to give guidance to their children.  It sounds easy enough until you have to put it into action. The basics are easy, but the new stuff, the stuff that feels beyond the scope of my abilities to handle myself much less help my kids handle, is incredibly befuddling. It is hard not to feel like a sub-par parent. So I choose the things we know I can stand on and work from there.  My heart has always wanted my children to know Christ th...

Have you and a friend ever watched a mystery show and as soon as a clue is revealed they start asking a million questions and end up talking over the explanation given by the characters? Or how about this: have you been in a classroom where the teacher tells her students to "get out your books, turn to this page, and then I will give you instructions on what to do next," only to watch most students shoot their hands up as soon as their book is open to ask what they are supposed to do? *Insert exasperated harumph from teacher here.* Our pastors' latest series, "Majoring on the Minors," is taking us through the minor prophets. It's been a fun and revealing look into humanity, especially myself. The "doom and gloom" of the destruction that awaits followed by the resolution to praise God and trust His direction. I was reading through Zephaniah and came upon a few verses that stood out in an unusual way, or rather, not in the "doom and gloom" ...

There have been many stories and lessons written containing buckets. Jack and Jill taught us to slow down. A Bucket List is the compilation of things you wish to do before you die. However, my favorite lesson will forever be the Sesame Street version of "There's a hole in the bucket." I am never able to get that song out of my head, nor the picture of Eliza's exasperation with Henry acted out in each forceful rocking of her chair. I've learned a lot from that song.  Like Henry, everyone has tried to fill or use a bucket at some time or another. They are physical tools used to complete tasks and they are also easily used to help describe something like emotions or responsibilities. We have all tried at some point in our lives to carry a bucket too full for our arms to lift. When you first read the above, you probably imagined a bucket of a certain size or color. Maybe it was like Henry's or maybe it was full of sand for making sand castles and came with a prett...

I am on an interesting journey of late, one that is painful and real and exciting all at the same time. The idea that my self is something to be cared for and protected is not foreign but very overlooked. The acceptance of me as I am is a terrifying thought. The act of positive self talk is difficult, more than it should be. Even in writing this, I realize I am thinking about myself as less than I should be; as not making the grade. Not True!! A long time ago, I went through a Beth Moore study that told us to make a special card to remind ourselves of a few things we could believe whole hearte dly.  " God is who He says He is.  God can do what He says He can do.  I am who God says I am.  I can do all things through Christ.  God’s Word is alive and active in me." I have not forgotten it (although I may get the order wrong :)). It reminds me of the simple truths that I should believe and live out. I am loved and wanted the way that I am, not the way I think I shou...

 "...To each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it." Eph. 4:7 I'll let you in on a little something about me: I need a lot of grace. Grace from you, grace from God, lots of grace... gimme all the grace you can muster. Getting older has forcibly taught me this fact. I have been dragged into the realization kicking and screaming.  When I was in High School, I remember struggling with something that made me feel so much less valued than everyone else. I felt like I had a huge blot on me, a scarlet letter that told everyone I was flawed. One of my youth leaders wrote back to me the verse in 2 Cor. 12:10 - "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." It has remained my steady friend all these years. It is the verse I run to. It is the insight I love most from Paul, a person I often perceive as overbearing and above everyone else. He shares of his weakness and how God answers his request for healing and relief. God said...

I am studying Ephesians again (one of my favorites) and have been hit hard by one simple thought again and again. God has one desire that fuels all that He does. Everything that He has ever done points to this one thing!  He wants to be with me. He wants to be with you. Simple, right? Unfortunately, we mucked it up as we humans usually do so, no. We could stop there and be lost in our discouragement, wallowing in our sad existence much like the prodigal son laying in the pen with the pigs despairing that any one could ever love us again. I can almost feel the filth oozing up between the crevices of my toes and the repugnant stink of it contaminating all that I might come upon. Wow... major downer. God doesn't want me to stay there, though. Again and again He shows me what He wants more than anything else: to spend time with me. Doesn't seem real, does it? The God of all, the Creator of everything, THE GOD wants to enjoy my company. Hard to believe. But true. Follow me on this.....

It's been a long time since I have sat at the keyboard to type my thoughts.  A lot has changed.  Much has not.  One thing I am still very aware of is my need for God's love. He gives me hope, direction, correction, encouragement, and grace. Oh, so much grace. Why can't I give myself as much?  My friend, James, says to be careful what you say to yourself because yours is the voice you hear most! Too true.  So what am I saying to myself today? The list so far just this morning is abominable. How can I change that? Where do I even start? One comment at a time. Over time, it will change. I have proof!!! (Here comes the story....) When my kids were younger, dinner time was a great way to get into their heads and discover what they were dealing with. We could find out what their days were like, what they were stressing over, all the intricate mini adult thoughts. After a while, we noticed that the predominant responses were on the negative side of things.  "How w...

Few things evoke a more negative groan from my children than the request to help around the house or do a chore. You can just hear them, right? The harrumphs and sighs of great exasperation coming from such beautiful little faces. The rolling of the eyes, the shoulders slumping, and the, "Do I have to," that dribbles from the mouths of those who usually delight me with their cheery dispositions. It's not like I've just asked them to restore the Sistine Chapel or scrub the marble halls of the courthouse. "I just asked you to take out the trash." Oh, no, Fluffy!!! So many times God has asked things of men and women throughout history and elicited the same childlike reaction. Grown humans dragging their feet in the service of the One Who gives them life. Why is it so hard to act as we know we should. Our kids are fully aware of their reactions but still forget the consequences that follow them. I am fully aware that my negative responses to God's reques...

Our family loves to go bowling. We don’t often go but when we do there is some serious Ketchum competitiveness displayed. Truth be told, however, only a few of us are truly gifted in the sport. Whether because of the amount of practice some have accrued or the age and physical capability possessed, the spectrum of ability is far more diverse than that of the rivalry. So, many a bowling night has been rescued by that most wonderful of inventions – the bumper guard. At one of our more recent visits to the local lanes, one of our kids became frustrated with always having their ball glide along the rail and end up hitting only one or two side pins. Their competitive nature was too great and, being the smart, creative child they are, they decided that they would use the guards strategically. They wouldn’t try to avoid them, as is the proper intent. That had only landed them minimal points anyway. Instead, they would aim the ball at a point in the rail as to reach the pins in the sweet...

Was Jesus saddened by His asking for the cup to pass? Did He feel weak for wanting to avoid the pain that was to come? Did He beat up on Himself for not bucking up and just doing what was asked of Him? I was struck by these questions in reading Timothy today. "Be strong in the grace of Christ Jesus." I hear often the command, "Show yourself a little grace!" probably because I am often harder on myself than I should be. Forgiveness and love beyond measure should be extended to all. That includes me. Jesus didn't need that grace but He prayed long and hard in the garden. He talked with God about what He was going to face. He asked if He could not have to go through the pain. Did He then think poorly of Himself because of that? I know I would have if I were asking. What about others? Do I think less of them for asking to avert life's troubles? To give love and forgiveness to others is difficult, for sure, but not so much when I remember that we are imperfec...

I was reading Isaiah 53 and was struck by a thought... Jesus never pleaded His case. He never defended His actions. He had every right to. He hadn't done anything to warrant what man said to Him or did to Him.  I am curious why I feel the need to do that for myself. If I feel I'm wronged or misunderstood, don't I run to defend myself? Don't I find others who can tell me if I'm right in a situation? Don't I lean over to my nearest friend to explain myself? Aren't I completely wrecked when someone thinks ill of me? In writing this I notice something that stand out. Me. I. Myself. My defensiveness all about protecting my image. Jesus knew that His pride and dignity shouldn't matter to Him in the sight of man. It mattered before God.  "He was oppressed  and afflicted,    yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb  to the slaughter,    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,   so he did not open his mouth." Isaiah 53:7 I'v...

Come, ye disconsolate, where'er you languish, Come, at God's altar fervently kneel; Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish-- Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal. Joy of the desolate, Light of the straying, Hope, when all others die, fadeless and pure, Here speaks the Comforter, in GOD'S name saying-- "Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot cure." Go, ask the infidel, what boon he brings us What charm for aching hearts he can reveal, Sweet as that heavenly promise Hope sings us-- "Earth has no sorrow that GOD cannot heal."

"If you don't pass the test, God'll give it to you again, ya know." Words of the very wise Clinton, our neighbor. They were said in passing to Scott one day in a conversation while walking the easement. Nothing big to Clinton, I'm sure, but they have stuck with me for all this time. While having some quiet time today I read a like passage. "... A man is a slave to whatever has mastered him." 2 Peter 2:19 It almost popped from the page but I couldn't have told you quite why until I thought about it more. What masters me? What controls my actions? Fear? Money? Approval? Food? Vanity? Service? Work? Obligations? What do I obsess over most? What dominates my thoughts? Hope? Love? Listening to Christ? Sharing Christ's story? Faith? Obsession is the human addiction... no one is immune. But with God's help and a focus on letting Him be Master of me, my obsession can be on Him. Not too bad in my book. Now if only my decision to live as su...