A Writers Block

We're pregnant again. Yup! My doctor laughed and asked how long I’d been married just to make sure that I did in fact know where babies come from. I think it’s taken until now, even with morning sickness and the other lovely changes that take place for a woman, for me to really accept that I am having another child. I was totally unprepared and quite set on not having to experience this joy a third time. God got a good three years of laughter out of “my plans” I’m sure! He must have been rolling in the aisles when we gave all our clothes and toys and baby furniture away. I think there were a few reasons why I didn’t want to do this again… sleepless nights, the thought that we were finally “unrestrained” by the ages of our kids, the uncomfortable 9 months to a year. But the one thing that stood out most to me recently was how much I didn’t want the stress that this event causes for me and Scott. All the joy can sometimes be overshadowed by the sorry state of the house or the mood I’...

I have to admit I’ve been discouraged lately about the institution of marriage. So many of my friends and acquaintances have had to experience divorce in their lives and the toll it takes on the people it touches can be almost as devastating as a death. Then there are those who have worn the mask of relationship so long that they don’t know how to be a spouse or a friend. Dishonesty has crept into their world surrounding them and those who care about them. There are the couples who only know how to be angry, hold grudges, and run their partners down. There are those who are so lonely for friendship and affection that they smother their marriage by looking for it there. Others can’t see anything but the perfection of themselves and the imperfections of the other. And there are others who just keep on truckin’ because they don’t expect that they or their spouse could be anything greater for the other. They settle for less than the joy of friendship and intimacy they could have with thei...

Okay, for those of you who think I have completely lost my mind (this would include my husband from time to time) here is a pretty good explanation as to why I feel and act the way I do lately. THIS is my son - kindly dubbed a "Little Demon" by his adoring Aunt Cryssie. "It was so much simpler when you could put the baby down in one general area and expect him to pretty much stay there safe and sound. Sure, you had to allow for the occasional rollover, and then there was that way-too-brief period when he crawled on all fours, but there was no movement so significant that it made blinking your eyes or turning your head an invitation to disaster. Now he's streaking from one peril-fraught room to another like a lunatic with a death wish and you would give anything for him just to be still. I'm beginning to find the humor in the situation now, but there were times when I felt like a fool trying to put a collar on a bumblebee." Vicki Iovine from The Girlfriends...

Today was Kayla's first day in first grade at a new school. Wow, was she amazing! I think I tossed and turned all night and she woke up bright and cheery, ready to take on the whole deal. Daddy gave her a special necklace to wear and took her into her class. She was radiant. Meanwhile, back at the farm I'm going nuts worrying that somehow I will forget to wait for her to arrive from the bus. AS IF!!!! I think I paced for a half hour before the bus appeared on the horizon. It was all I could do to wait for her to get off. I didn't even get words out before she bounded down the driveway giggling with glee over the bus ride. She beamed from ear to ear. I asked her how her teacher was and she said, "GREAT!" I asked her what her favorite things were about today and she said the soccer and the bus. What a crack up. So tomorrow I'll be up early taking her to school. I'm so glad she's happy. She played with her neighbor friend and made some new friends. I'...

I am constantly amazed by the power of the spoken word. In a day, so many millions of thoughts run through my head and never really reach that point of reality or consciousness. Some I am thankful I didn’t dare speak. They determine my actions and attitudes but they can't pull their own weight. Ping-ponging back and forth, my thoughts rarely slow down long enough to let me speak any thing at all unless, of course, you think "uh... weknwfeil gobledegook" is intelligible. I have been challenged lately to speak my prayers and bible verses aloud in order to truly feel their impact. It's almost like the thoughts aren't real until they're said. It's incredibly scary and moving to stand at the threshold of believing. Suddenly, the air is full of a sense of presence and awe. I can feel that I'm being heard. I internalize my faith so much more as if I have more to stand on because I've prayed aloud. I have to actually believe the words before I can say them...

It was a normal night, like any other where I go to bed much too late knowing that my son will wake me much too early. It’s hard to sleep when you know the next few hours are going to be peaceful and uninterrupted. But I finally went to bed and enjoyed the cool night air breezing through my window. Sometime before daybreak (that being around 4:30am nowadays) I could have sworn someone smacked my leg. It even tingled and stung. I didn’t open my eyes at first because I knew no one was there or, if someone was there, I didn’t want to know. It wasn’t Scott because it was the wrong side of the bed for him to kick me. I thought it could be the dog and then I remembered we didn’t have one yet. What in the world hit me?! I lay in bed for a few minutes half awake and wondering if something was wrong with my kids until I had to get up and check on them. You have to love a mother’s mind in the wee hours of the morning. No sense, just worry. Sleeping like logs, my children were warm and safe. I j...

My Mom, one of my most precious friends, shared some humble feelings on her latest post and I started writing a response that turned into something I thought might be encouraging to more than just her. So many of us have found ourselves feeling like the wallflower or the "different one." I imagine Jesus felt that way many times before he turned 30 and had the disciples. And even then, they did not always walk the same roads. Jesus was always just a little different; always thinking differently about things people thought were written in stone... as they may very well have been! Anyway, here are my thoughts and responses to her questions. I think you can see from each comment posted on your site, Mom, that your kids are some of the other people who think about things and challenge others to do the same. We learned that from you! Maybe we are your fellowship and church, we are your ministry, if you have to have one. I have learned this past year that prayer for your family and ...

Have you ever been so overcome by emotion that you had to yell or jump or pretty much do anything but stand still? (Like maybe when the refs called "touchdown" for the Steelers or reversed a TD for the Seahawks this past weekend.) I’ve had that encounter once or twice in my life (obviously not on the ballfield) and the particular experience I love the most was at my brother’s boot camp graduation. After all of the pomp and circumstance, having witnessed such a scene of pride and commitment to their country, and watching each young man and woman succeed in his or her endeavor I was so moved I couldn’t sit still. The soldiers were released to visit with family and friends but Jon couldn’t find us up in the bleachers. His charged up, dolt-of-a-sister (that would be me) yelled louder than at any football game, “MAXWELL!” I just couldn’t help it! I didn’t even think about how many heads would turn, how dumb I looked, or how silly it might have made him look (sorry, Jon). I had to ...

Yesterday was a good day. Once in a while there is a day that comes along and just thinking about it makes you smile. That was yesterday. I woke up after a horrible night’s sleep to the sound of my kids playing the Happy Birthday song really loud (the one on Sprout TV, for those of you who are accosted by it regularly). Then my kids came bouncing in the room hollering at me to get up and open my presents. I got cool stuff. I even got things that Kayla had picked out all by herself. I thought that was really cool. Then I got to visit with friends at church and Colton even went into Sunday School voluntarily, without crying! I sat with my hubby in service, too. There’s nothing quite like sitting silently with someone you love. So much communication can happen without saying a word. Then again, we weren’t exactly silent… we’re not too good at that (sorry Pastor Bill). After church we headed home, had lunch with the kids and put the kids down. Then we were off, courtesy of Hannah (*, from ...